Can you believe it is already February 5, 2024? I feel like this year of 2024 has already flown by, where did January go!
Lately I have been in a complete sh*t storm of limited beliefs and past self. I'd love to say it has been 1 or 2 isolated things but no, no, in true Danielle fashion it has been all of it at once.
Where do I even begin...
I guess i'll start by sharing that this year started out with the intention that I was going to ease back into working. As you know I put a halt to everything in November and stopped moving in any direction to continue moving through the personal experience I've been navigating.
But you know what happened... I found myself defaulting to old patterns. I found myself in feedback loops of my old ways. To say this was frustrating would be an understatement.
I mean how do I, Danielle, the mindset gal, fall back into these ways of being...
... simple ... because I am human.
And I can hear you saying 'give yourself a break Danielle'. But seriously this one was frustrating.
I ended up back in this pattern of invest in everything you think you need, consume your time 'growing' vs focusing on what you really know you want to be doing. It was as if those 2 months I took off were a waste... what were they for to only default back to the same way of being.
I woke up this morning thinking to myself 'how did you get here again?'. The truth is; I knew I was operating in this pattern all month and I was giving life to my past ways and yet I consciously choose not to move beyond them.
Part of me believed that I was going through these old patterns because I needed to have the awareness that I had defaulted back to those ways and to that I say 'that is what needed to happen'.
But it certainly doesn't make it any easier when your human is wired to beat itself up for perceived shortcomings! As I sit writing this today, it does feel good to acknowledge that is where I was and how I was operating.
It also feels good to acknowledge that I knew I was operating in that space and also believed it was what I needed to do to move through it. But it doesn't make it any less emotional for the human and what it has been navigating.
I know that this awareness was the whole point of January, because truly without awareness of how we are behaving, we cannot see. I guess now would be the time I should give myself a high-five for being willing to see it the whole time and then to do something about it like I am right now.
But let's be real, there is still a part of my human that is mad at itself. There is a part of me that is craving to default back again and there is a part of me that doesn't what to break free from these ways of being.
Grrr... I can feel the experience and emotions in my chest, you know that tight 'anxious' feeling we feel when our human self and our higher self are 'fighting' each other. That is how I feel right now.
I know from a higher perspective this is a good sign (and feeling) because that means I am taking my power back through awareness and my past human self is fighting to hold on, but my higher self is showing up and saying 'not that way today'.
As I said... I've been in a sh*t storm of limiting beliefs and past self! Another day in my human self isn't it! I do know that I AM moving beyond, because as mentioned I can see it and I am aware of it, so we will take that as a win.
It certainly doesn't discredit the push pull I've been living within this past month and all the emotions and ways of being I still get to transcend to move beyond this, but seeing it feels better. Once you see it and own it, you don't have to feel so bad about it and that feels good.
I'm going to wrap this up today and get on with a new day of awareness and the opportunity to show up from a higher version. I'm sure the follow on to this transformation of self will be something exciting (as it always it!).
My final thought for today is; the pull back is your greatest gift if you are willing to see what is pulling you back, for that means there is an opposite reaction of 'launch' available. Otherwise known as a new way of being.
Sending you lots of love & light.
In Good Vibes,